Mission: Possible.

This weight-loss journey for me as began again and again a few times, as I believe it as with most people. Then I’m not sure exactly what happens but somewhere along the lines a few of us take a good hard look at ourselves and something just clicks. Change doesn’t become instant in that moment but it becomes possible, more so than before because whatever that “something” is it brings us to a new understanding of our weight, our health, and ourselves.

As I began this weight-loss journey again in September 2011 my goal was to: Knock my husband dead, make him do a double take, see his chin hit the floor…you get the idea right? I worked out at home and made little progress. I started HIIT and hired a personal trainer and made a lot more progress, but still not as much as I’d wanted before my husband was due to return.

I started out September 1 2011 at 160. January 5 2012 – the day David returned – I was 144. 144 is a number I never wish to see again. It was my first plateau, I’m not sure if there will be another, but I’m praying not! I’d lost of 16 pounds. Not the 40 I’d been aiming for. I get it, maybe I was shooting to high, but that’s the way I am. I aim for the stars.

Now, I could have gotten discouraged, disappointed, and given up especially when I didn’t get the reaction I dreamed of. However, I’d come to realize I probably wouldn’t and I’d made peace with that. 16 pounds might or might not be a lot difference to notice. I was just beginning to really notice myself. The thing is somewhere in that 4 months my desires, my goals changed. It became more about ME than David.

After all, he wasn’t the one complaining about my weight, my clothes, and the way I felt was he? No, that was ALL me. I hated the weight I’d gained. I felt miserable, frumpy, fat, unattractive and undesirable. Did he make me feel that way? No – the weight did. Whose clothes was it that did not fit properly? Mine. Not his. Who complained about never having anything to wear…ya got it – me.

Weight gain majorly affects you in several if not all areas of your life. No matter how big or how small that gain may be – it will affect you in some way.

Once switching gears and deciding to do this for ME and not just to knock David’s socks off, it didn’t matter as much to me that I had only lost 16 pounds by his return. That was 16 gone! I was on the road to success, even though the scale continued to say 144. Changes were occurring in my mind, body, and soul. I had no desire to give up, no desire to quit.

As a matter of fact when I finally told David all I’d been doing I was so afraid to tell him how much the trainer cost. I wasn’t afraid he’d complain about the money, but I was afraid that now that he was home from deployment and that little extra money wasn’t coming in, he’d tell me I had to quit. Amazingly enough, he did not. As a matter of fact I'm pretty impressed with that man... 

I am thankful for that as I do not wish to quit, not now, not ever. Yes, I know I’ll have to break away from my trainer at some point and stand on my own two little size 5 feet…but right now “H” keeps me accountable. He pushes me beyond anything I would push myself. As a matter of fact he knows how much weight I can lift – not me! I should probably pay attention to that.

I do not feel like I’m finished yet. For those that know me best they know one major flaw I seem to have. I start something…and rarely finish it. That is why I’ve always got 99 different projects going. I love going to the gym. I like trying the new exercises or challenges. I like being pushed a little. I like lifting weights – who knew I could! I love seeing what I can do and finding out what I am capable of doing. There have been times when I have looked at “H” and said, “I can’t do that!” and he has made sure I proved myself wrong. It’s a pretty amazing feeling when you leave your own self speechless.

I do not really know a whole lot of people at the gym, but I enjoy my time there. One might say I’ve become an addict. I know though that what I am doing is in the best interest of my health; mentally, emotionally, and physically. I know what I am doing is setting an amazing example for my children. I know what I am doing is going to keep me around long enough to meet my (very far off) future grand-children. That makes me proud of ME. Not David, but ME. I’m taking care of ME and so if you see this crazy chick in the gym that looks like she’s having to much fun, laughing to hard, or smiling to much to be working out – I apologize. I just feel so good, I can’t help it.

That being said I’ve come to realize one more thing about myself and I’ve made a few more new goals. What’d I learn? I never thought I would like or enjoy running, but I do, a lot more than I realized. This 4 weeks low impact has shown me that. I am amazed at the fact that I’ve not let my asthma (or lack there of) hold me back, but most of all I love the finish line. For someone who constantly has 99 unfinished projects, crossing that finish line is an amazing feeling because I know I did it. I completed it. I finished it.

What new goals do I have? Well, the first one is to get on top of sharing my food with you. I did take a few pictures, but then I slipped off. So for the month of May I’ve 3 challenges.

1. May 1 – May 31 post my photo-log of my foods for you.
2. Do as many push-ups as I can on May 1 and add 1 push-up per day. It’s a HIIT challenge.
3. The Mad Monk mud run on Mother’s Day…another finish line to cross.

On to Goals, some maybe be a little high…but who shoots for the stars? I do!

1. May 1 – 132 pounds
2. May 15 – 129 pounds
3. June 1 – 126 pounds
4. June 15 – 123 pounds
5. July 1 – 120 pounds

No, I will not FLIP OUT or STRESS OUT if those do not workout. I know I’m losing weight and inches and I know it’s taken longer than I ever expected. I also think in the back of my mind somewhere that I fear a second plateau. However, 120 is my FINAL goal weight and I would LOVE, LOVE, LOVE to be there by July 4^th or at least within 5 pounds of it.

6. To do 1 race, fun run, or something new each month. So far May, June, July, and October are sorted.
7. To beat my last time on the row machine at my next assessment. J

Now then, how are your goals coming along, how are they changing, and how are you changing? I read something on one of my friend Amber’s Facebook page the other day. It said:

“A new morning means a new beginning, a new struggle, a new endeavor, but with the Lord by our side we can over come any challenges and turn obstacles into stepping stones.”

That’s exactly what I am doing! The sky is the limit and I am shoot for stars, how bout you?

~T~