We ALL Crack

At some point in our lives we all have different moments of "cracking". What on earth do I mean?
Well, let me tell you a little story...

Yesterday, after my training session with H - who had me doing some crazy stuff - I needed to get gas in my car. I knew I needed it and I also knew I would be rushed to get it. However, I was running a bit late leaving and thought I have enough to get home and Brier will be so mad if I'm late picking him up! I'll just have to purchase a little off the "British" economy vs on base.

So here I am in my car, headed towards the gate when all the sudden I get stuck in traffic! On base! They had the gate closed and had I realised quickly enough I could have turned and gone on to get my gas, because my having to sit there until they re-opened it was going to make me REALLY late. I called David and he ran off to save the day - my hero - while I sat at the gate with very little gas.

When the gate finally opened I rushed on home so that David could get back to work, positive my hubby would have a gas can and be able to help me out a little. Thankfully, he did! Although, he shook his head at me the whole time - he really should know by now. After all we have been married for 12 years!

This morning I take Brier to the bus stop and later I head on up to the gym for HIIT class - and man did I sweat today! I also ran for at least .10 of a mile on level 10 of the treadmill (I was experimenting a bit...I'll explain later, getting sidetracked here). Anyway, after class I went to the commissary for a few things, realising; "This is a mistake...I am hungry...You know you are NOT supposed to shop while hungry." So as I browse around for something edible I am mentally trying to figure out what I can eat when I get home...

....I bought a Reese's peanut butter cup - I only ate 1.

Then I loaded my car up all ready to head home and drove right out the gate. Anybody know what I forgot?  =)

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Yep, GAS!

At the first area I could turn around, I did and went right back in the gate...my day quickly going sour here. I get my car filled $60.50 YIKES! and then I am about to drive away and go home. Again, thinking I'm hungry and now I'm later than planned and "Oh, there's taco bell!" Off I go...I order a #3. Do you know what that is? 3 Crunchy Supreme tacos with a drink.

So there you have it...I cracked. I had a Pepsi (well 1/2 of what was in the giant cup they gave me!)

However, I did NOT have cheese! No Bread/No Cheese - this no cheese thing is NOT easy.

As I was eating my taco and drinking my Pepsi I thought to myself, "This Pepsi really don't taste that great, maybe they gave me diet or something." I finished the 1st taco and began the second, after a couple bites I thought, "Umm, I'm not stuffed, but I do believe I'm full." I am learning to READ my body. So I wrapped it up, stuck it in the bag and headed home. By the time I got home a snack sounded good and I ate the rest of the 2nd Taco. I gave the 3rd one away with the other 1/2 of that Pepsi and returned to my water.

Why am I telling you all this? Because if you are trying to lose weight and working really hard at it I want you to be aware that at some point and probably more than once you will CRACK. It's not a bad thing, it happens, it's life.

I already knew that Pepsi was my "go to" when stressed (apparently gas stresses me out). I also know that I've not had Pepsi in my home since Sept. 2011!!! And I know I had a couple Pepsi's while home at Christmas and a very small one in January when out on a date with my husband.  Did I feel guilty about it? No, but I know it can not become a habit or an addiction again. EVER!

The more you do not have something - say Pepsi - then the less you desire it. You may not realise that until you've gone months without it and then you take that first sip and you're like, "is this really Pepsi?" It's then that you know...I BEAT this. I don't NEED this. I don't DESIRE this. My water actually taste better! Do you get what I'm saying?

You will eventually CRACK and it is OKAY! Don't beat yourself over the head about it. Have it, put it out of your mind, and then move on. Life is full of speed bumps and that is just an example of another one.

I hit one today because my stress levels had been high all week and the gas just topped it off. I'm not gonna push myself harder or make myself do another workout today because of it. I'm just gonna pick myself up and carry on, because I did BEAT it, I don't NEED it, nor do I DESIRE it. Most of all it no longer CONTROLS me. I don't accept a Pepsi at every corner, buy one every time I shop, or keep it in my house.

I am in CONTROL

Just know...we all CRACK.

If this is your "crack" day - what caused it? Do you know? Were you in control? Are you beating this or letting it beat you? Who is in charge? You or whatever it is you turn to??? Pepsi, Cheese, Cigarettes, Cheese, Diet Dew, Cheese, Coke, Cheese, Chocolate, Cheese, Doritos, Wine, Cheese, Vodka, Cheese...you get the point right? =)

Crack & Carry On.

~T~